Friday, April 29, 2005

Hmmmm...well, yes...uhnnn...

Somehow it seemed like a good idea at the time!

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

American Idol Shocker: My Baby Got Bounced!

It was an internet plot!!

I am shocked. I am stunned. I am crushed. I blame myself. If only I had tried harder to get through despite the busy signal to make my vote register!

My future husband-to-be, Constantine Maroulis, done got bounced off of American Idol tonight. Granted, his song choice for last night's show, Nickelback's How You Remind Me was not my particular cup of tea. In fact, I kind of thought he would end up in the bottom three. But, still, there was the execrable Scott Savol, again truly terrible. I thought for sure that Constantine would survive the bottom three, much like Bo Bice, the other rocker in the competition, had the week before.

He's dressed in black with chains and bindings around his wrists. Nice, edgy look. He is all over the stage and obviously vibing to the song with all its barely submerged anger. He seeks out the camera as if it were his heart's beloved. He smiles naughtily when he gets to the lyric, "Living with me must have damn near killed you."

Something is really wrong here. And it's in the voting.

Read An Opera Singer Watches American Idol by Steve Huff for a professional opinion of the Final Six's vocal capabilities!

Also, something's strange about this year's American Idol voting.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

City Council members "fiddle" while downtown "burns"...

Well, the rumors which have been swirling around and about Kaldi's and The Maisonette for months now have officially come to fruition. Maisonette owner Nat Comisar officially announced Wednesday that the the Maisonette, the only restaurant in the United States to have achieved the prestigious Mobil five-star rating for 41 consecutive years -- longer than any other restaurant in North America -- will move to Kenwood in Sycamore Township in the fall of 2006 (Adieu downtown, bonjour Kenwood).

In yet another brilliant move of complacency, Cincinnati City Council members have seen fit to let Kaldi's, an early mainstay business anchor on the revitalized Main Street strip in Over-the-Rhine, die a natural death after the debacle which was the aftermath of the Cincinnati riots and subsequent boycott(Kaldi's Closes after 12 Years).

God forbid that there might actually be someone on City Council with an ounce of business sense who is not in the pocket of either the Fourth Street business interests or the poverty pimps who are so adamently against change downtown!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

My Unitarian Jihad name is:

Jon Carroll of the San Francisco Chronicle presents this missive in his April 8, 2005 column (with special thanks to my brother, The Peace Warrior!):

"The following is the first communique from a group calling itself Unitarian Jihad. It was sent to me at The Chronicle via an anonymous spam remailer. I have no idea whether other news organizations have received this communique, and, if so, why they have not chosen to print it. Perhaps they fear starting a panic. I feel strongly that the truth, no matter how alarming, trivial or disgusting, must always be told. I am pleased to report that the words below are at least not disgusting:

" 'Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.

" 'Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States! Too long has your attention been waylaid by the bright baubles of extremist thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of all religions (except Buddhism -- 14-5 vote, no abstentions, fundamentalism subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have you been buffeted by angry people who think that God talks to them. You have a right to your moderation! You have the power to be calm! We will use the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression!

" 'People of the United States, why is everyone yelling at you??? Whatever happened to ... you know, everything? Why is the news dominated by nutballs saying that the Ten Commandments have to be tattooed inside the eyelids of every American, or that Allah has told them to kill Americans in order to rid the world of Satan, or that Yahweh has instructed them to go live wherever they feel like, or that Shiva thinks bombing mosques is a great idea? Sister Immaculate Dagger of Peace notes for the record that we mean no disrespect to Jews, Muslims, Christians or Hindus. Referred back to the committee of the whole for further discussion.

" 'We are Unitarian Jihad. We are everywhere. We have not been born again, nor have we sworn a blood oath. We do not think that God cares what we read, what we eat or whom we sleep with. Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity notes for the record that he does not have a moral code but is nevertheless a good person, and Unexalted Leader Garrote of Forgiveness stipulates that Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity is a good person, and this is to be reflected in the minutes.

" 'Beware! Unless you people shut up and begin acting like grown-ups with brains enough to understand the difference between political belief and personal faith, the Unitarian Jihad will begin a series of terrorist-like actions. We will take over television studios, kidnap so-called commentators and broadcast calm, well-reasoned discussions of the issues of the day. We will not try for "balance" by hiring fruitcakes; we will try for balance by hiring non-ideologues who have carefully thought through the issues.

" 'We are Unitarian Jihad. We will appear in public places and require people to shake hands with each other. (Sister Hand Grenade of Love suggested that we institute a terror regime of mandatory hugging, but her motion was not formally introduced because of lack of a quorum.) We will require all lobbyists, spokesmen and campaign managers to dress like trout in public. Televangelists will be forced to take jobs as Xerox repair specialists. Demagogues of all stripes will be required to read Proust out loud in prisons.

" 'We are Unitarian Jihad, and our motto is: "Sincerity is not enough." We have heard from enough sincere people to last a lifetime already. Just because you believe it's true doesn't make it true. Just because your motives are pure doesn't mean you are not doing harm. Get a dog, or comfort someone in a nursing home, or just feed the birds in the park. Play basketball. Lighten up. The world is not out to get you, except in the sense that the world is out to get everyone.

" 'Brother Gatling Gun of Patience notes that he's pretty sure the world is out to get him because everyone laughs when he says he is a Unitarian. There were murmurs of assent around the room, and someone suggested that we buy some Congress members and really stick it to the Baptists. But this was deemed against Revolutionary Principles, and Brother Gatling Gun of Patience was remanded to the Sunday Flowers and Banners committee.

" 'People of the United States! We are Unitarian Jihad! We can strike without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and harmony will appear as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government again! There will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room after the revolution.' "
Startling new underground group spreads lack of panic! Citizens declare themselves "relatively unafraid" of threats of undeclared rationality. People can still go to France, terrorist leader says.

Michael row the boat ashore, and then get some of the local kids to pull the boat onto the dock, and come visit with
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Sister Immaculate Guillotine of Togetherness. What's yours?

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Oh, Constantine!

My future husband-to-be, Constantine Maroulis (right), with AI host Ryan Seacrest

OK. I admit it. I've finally become addicted to American Idol. And all because of this guy. Constantine. (sigh.) Last night's theme, "Songs from the year you were born", found Connie performing last and with a really bold choice: Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. And my, oh, my, how he tore things up!! Freddie Mercury would have been proud. Even Simon could only comment: "Astonishing!"

Call me crazily, serially-addicted to Greeks, bearing/baring gifts, but, IMHO, Constantine is the new American Idol!